We’ve all been there. The icky post breakup phase. Your stomach is in knots and when you
finally force yourself to eat something it goes down in lumps. There is absolutely zero point in wearing mascara because as soon as you think about that certain someone, it’s smeared all down your face.
Girl, you are grieving. It is perfectly normal to feel this way. Whether you ended the relationship, they did, or it was a mutual agreement, it still hurts the same. Even if you ended on good terms… it still fucking hurts!
This isn’t a “how get over your ex” check list of things to do to feel better. I am not going to tell you to take a bubble bath, get drunk with friends or get back out there. Truth is these things might make you feel better, but who ever said “my problems were solved by a lush bubble bath”? Certainly not me.
So how does self-love help?
After a break up do you ever think, “They don’t love me anymore because of my flaws”? Do you start to think shitty things about yourself or blame yourself? Self-love can help you realise that you’re being harsh on yourself, and that the things you are thinking about yourself in this moment, aren’t actually true. It’s just the post breakup state you are in right now. And this too shall pass. Self-love reminds you that you’ve got you.
A dear friend told me something that changed my views on love permanently. And now I will share this wisdom with you:
Love isn’t something that can be given or taken away because love comes from inside you. In fact everything you are searching for in life, everything you wish to become is already right there inside of you ready and waiting for you to reach in and grab it.
You can return to love whenever you need it! If you don’t believe me, I seriously urge you to do some kind of gratitude meditation and sink into them feelings. Allow your heart to expand and fill with love. Okay… maybe I have gone a bit woo woo on you here, but why not give it a try. What have you got to lose?
What do I even do with my life now? You may be thinking.
Any big change in your life (like a relationship coming to a close), gives you a chance to reflect and to focus on where you are and what you want in life. What lights you up? What do you want to do more of? Keeping self-love in mind, choose some things that you want to do, just for you. This is your time now!
Healing comes in all kinds of forms but one thing I know for sure is, self-love and compassion really helps. So do whatever it is you need to do. Set yourself a time frame to be sad, but don’t wallow there for too long. It may not feel like it right now, but you’ve got this girl.
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